The dysfunction embedded in our family had the grip of a chokehold. We developed powerful traits to survive others’ demands and needs in the only way we knew how.
These survival traits were so powerful that we split into different personalities: the survivor and our real self. The conflict between the two parts still has a forceful hold on us and we have become confused as to which is our real self and what is our survival self. This journey is complicated by the fact that, though we no longer live with our family, we still act out the survival traits. Even now, due to the absence of clarity, we depend on the old survival traits to keep us going.
This exercise is to help us identify the old survival traits and gain some clarity on how they helped us and how they are still prevalent in our lives today.
In the table below, look through the list of survival traits and, if you identify with them, write examples of how you depend on them.