We’ve almost finished working A Program Of Miracles. It’s been a linear journey. We began by looking at our family of origin and pinpointed the exact roots of our learned belief system. We moved on to see how our belief had influenced our childhood and how that had developed into a pattern of unhelpful adult behavior.
We examined how this pattern had affected relationships with others and ourselves. We mourned the losses in our life. We then made a decision to turn our life over to a Higher Power. With trust in our hearts we chose to share our story with another person. We made amends to those we’d hurt. Following on we made amends to ourselves and forged a closer relationship with God.
However, we often find that we try to stay in control because we’re still trying to fix our ‘flawed self’. We act out or seek drama and chaos all in an attempt to deny our real self. We tend to isolate in order for us to closet our ‘flaws’ including the belief that we’re fundamentally ‘less than’ everyone else. We walk into a room of friends and feel oh, so lonely. It’s as if there’s a glass wall between them and us.
This disconnection between our selves and the outside world is prevalent for those of us raised in dysfunctional families. It also manifests when we present ourselves as one person yet feel like we are a different person inside. This splitting of our personality was how we survived life. We become caught in the trance of unworthiness and we never question it.
In this Step we look at how we radically accept all parts of us. Up to this point we have only paid lip service to our self-acceptance. Now we must go the full push towards radically accepting all of us. By ‘radically’ we need to force ourselves to accept our personality. We now have the confidence we need to believe this is our path and, because we understand that our complete happiness is at stake, we are ready to finally accept every single molecule of our mind, body and soul.
Radical acceptance stems from the Buddhist thinking that says we must resist nothing in order to be happy. Buddhism suggests that desire is the root of all suffering and we, more than others, understand that with the desire for our pain to end comes a non-acceptance of the way it is.
Through radical acceptance we no longer resist our feelings of loss, fear or grief. Instead we accept our pain with the gentleness of a mother holding her baby. We do this compassion and clarity. This will help us to be free from suffering, mind racing, and desire to change the future, jealousy and defensiveness.
Through radical acceptance we begin to hold our experiences with compassion and open up to share our story. This new awareness helps us to heal our pain by allowing us to show others how we really feel inside. The two parts of us begin to come to gather and our confidence grows as we recognize we are acceptable inside and outside.
Radical acceptance helps us to live in our moment-to-moment experience. And when we do this, miracles begin to unfold. We feel lighter and free, a new creative part of us opens up and we sense we have more options. We begin to put aside our critical thinking and negative self beliefs. We stop blaming others for the way we feel. We have a clear understanding of our hidden intention that drives our behavior.
Every day, as many times as you remember at least once a day and up to once an hour, do this exercise.
Stop what you’re doing and:
Radically accept that you are exactly where you need to be at this moment
Identify, name and radically accept all your feelings
Radically accept your mind racing
Radically surrender your hope, wishes and desires for your future
Radically surrender your past regrets
If you need to, put a reminder on your phone.